‘You are not to be like that.”
Luke 22:26
“Exceptional choice,” she enthusiastically nodded. A big scoop of black pepper chicken landed on my take-out plate. Since I ordered a “big plate panda meal”—not merely the bowl—two more entrees were included for $11.95. “Oh, that’s my favorite,” she radiated as I laid down my next choice of Sriracha Shrimp. “Yum Yum.” If I’d been having a bad day, this 17-year-old behind the counter was certainly making me feel like a winner. Who knew ordering Chinese food at the panda Express could have such positive psychological and emotional benefits? “You get one more delicious choice,” she confirmed, I surveyed the offerings. Pointing to the dumplings, she joyfully shrieked. “Oh my, you couldn’t complement your meal any better.” I was on a roll. I didn’t want to stop ordering. Securing the lid on my plate, she offered a final affirmation. “Have a fantastic dinner. And may the rest of your day be amazing.” I smiled and followed the line to the cashier. The sheer force of her exceptional service demanded nothing less than a comparable response. “AN AMAZING DAY” to you as well!” I declared, giving her a thumbs up as I headed for the door.
Now I can hear a few of you saying, “Come on Bruce, she probably spent a couple of weeks in corporate cultural training sessions. Surely adjectives like “exceptional,” “delicious” and “fantastic” didn’t evolve from a high school literature class. But I might push back a little. Watching her peers perform the same functions—for other customers—revealed that my server was either genetically endowed with enhanced relational genes or she simply loved serving people, possessing the unique capacity of projecting her passion onto her customers. She was operating on another level—while making minimum wage! Had I been a food critic…she’d earn a Michelin Star.
“Who is greater, the one at the table or the one who serves?” asks Jesus to his arguing disciples. Jesus knew his disciples answer before asking. They understood the prevailing world cultural view. Obvious. Easy answer. Those “at” the table were greater than those serving the table. Greater wealth. Greater status. Greater power. He asks anyway. Why? Jesus wants to bend their brains—and ours.
Historically, this exchange happens at an event called “the last supper.” His group of intimate friends sit down to eat. It’s here Jesus predicts his death to those gathered at the table—a final meal and ritual before his journey of brutal suffering and death. At this point his disciples are either clueless or completely self-absorbed. Maybe a bit of both. In this highly emotional and symbolic moment, attention shifts from their teacher and friend…to themselves. “A dispute among them,” writes Luke, “as to which of them was considered to be the greatest.” A petty argument about personal greatness, now? Sitting bedside with a dying friend and bragging about your promotion might be an apt comparison. Timing is way off. Emotional intelligence is lacking.
Good to know egos were alive an active well before Freud coined the psychoanalytic term in 1923. But it’s still hard to believe that those walking side by side with Jesus for three years—watching the miracles, absorbing his teachings and witnessing his lifestyle—still missed the point. I feel slightly vindicated by my dumbness.
But instead of scolding his friends, Jesus does what Jesus does best. A conflict becomes a teaching moment. No need to waste time shaming or judging. His final dinner becomes a pulpit to share a sermon on humility, true greatness and identity. “I am among you as one who serves.” Jesus figuratively flips the table by affirming that true identity is not found in self-promotion, chest thumping and climbing the social ladder to score points. “You are not to be like that,” says the one who washes feet, eats with the outcasts and dies as a criminal on a garbage heap.
“As far as service goes,” reflects Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, “It can take the form of a million things. To do service, you don’t have to be a doctor working in the slums for free or become a social worker. Your position in life and what you do doesn’t matter as much as how you do what you do.” I guess that includes serving black pepper chicken and dumplings at Panda while making your customers feel…amazing.
Wishing you a meaningful Holy Week.
Dr. Bruce Main
Founder and President, Urban Promise
Camden, New jersey