The Christmas morning I spent alone in the hospital was nothing like the scenes I had grown up experiencing. At 25 years old, a blockage in my small intestine required emergency surgery and landed me in the hospital for 10 days; day 7 was Christmas. There were no sounds of family laughter, no rustling of wrapping paper, no aroma of breakfast cooking, not even the melodic voice of Luther Vandross drifting through the house. Instead, I woke to the hum of machines, the distant footsteps of nurses and the stillness of a room that held only me.
On a day filled with emotional expectations, I confronted a kind of loneliness I had never quite felt before. Through I knew my family was coming to see me that evening, I felt lonely, forgotten and sad because my world was moving forward without me. Then, as I lay there, I sensed a gentle reminder settling over my spirit: joy is not based on circumstance. On that Christmas morning, I realized God was inviting me to choose joy in a way I had never had to choose before. In q quiet room, stripped of all the usual holiday sounds, I felt God’s presence in a deeply personal way. It was as if He whispered, “I am with you. Even Here. Especially here.”
Choosing joy while lying in a hospital bed was not about pretending everything was fine. It was about trusting that His light could reach even this place. It was believing that Emmanuel, “God with us,” really meant that God was with me—especially in my weakness, in my uncertainty and in my solitude.
The complexities of life, especially during the holiday season, can make the notion of choosing joy seem impossible. Here are two practices that helped me:
FIND GRATITUDE EVEN IN THE SMALL THINGS
That morning taught me about gratitude in a new way. I found myself thanking God for breath, for life, for healing in progress and for strength I didn’t know I had. Gratitude didn’t erase the hardship, but it made room for joy to grow. And the more I embraced that joy, the more my spirit lifted.
I WANT TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO FIND COMMUNITY
I eventually realized I wasn’t alone. The staff working that day and the volunteers donating their time, sacrificing their own Christmas mornings, felt like angels in plain sight. Their presence reminded me that God often uses people to show his love. A simple “Merry Christmas” exchanged with a nurse became a moment of connection, a quiet reminder that God weaves community even in unexpected places. I want to encourage you to find community. If it feels like you don’t have it, you can find it through volunteer opportunities, participating in community events, attending church services or connecting with neighbors.
Looking back, that Christmas morning shaped me. It taught me that God’s presence is not limited to decorated rooms or festive gatherings—He can reach us in the ugliest places. I am now content knowing that sometimes the holiest moments happen in the most unlikely places.
That morning didn’t offer the Christmas I wanted, but it gave me the Christmas I needed: one where joy wasn’t received but chosen.
May you find joy this season,
Calvin Carthan
Principal, Urban Promise Academy
Camden, New Jersey